Milk Wars 08!!!

Winter 2008

Don & I were sitting around one day when Steve came over and started carrying on about cheap milk up on Huron line. He said there were lines out the door because the Shoppers and the Rexall were competing with each other and selling off cheap milk.

After Don's mom called and was carrying on about it too, we decided to stop there after some Taco Bell. As we walked over, sure as shit, people everywhere, scurrying away to their cars with bags of milk.

Going inside, we found empty shelves, congested cashiers and cheap fucks waiting for crates to arrive in the back and then picking at the milk like the viscious scavengers they were.

We started having a good laugh at all of this, people rushing, people trying to get money together to buy the milk, people leaving to drop off milk and returning. Some girl was eying us up after we were making jokes about her coming and going several times to get more milk. We were cracking jokes about people getting carjacked for milk, people hussling milk outside ("yo, I got what you need") all the way to people bathing in milk in their post-purchase milk excitement.

The above three jokes were just the tip of the ice berg, the three of us were cracking jokes and carrying on for a good 45 minutes about milk. My throat was killing me from laughing so much.

The funny thing about it all was that Don's mom actually wanted some milk, so we ended up actually having to wait around. Since it was seventeen cents, we decided to purchase another bag and we went out front. Don ripped open a bag with his teeth, poured some in his mouth then all over himself, then threw it at the sign out front - all while heavy Huron Church traffic blew by and Steve was yelling "MILK WARS...MILK WARS 08!!!"

If you're confused, I understand. The Fondeler knows us well and when he later heard about this, he was fully confused.

Street Cred was psyched though.


Go Home